A Cat Who Hates To Take Baths

Inspired by recent tutorials I’ve been taking on ChatGPT, I decided to run the title of this post as a prompt through two of the cheaper/more primitive ChatGPT API models, Babbage and Ada (the second worst and the worst, respectively).

For reference, the currently most sophisticated ChatGPT model (4) would write a poem like this: “In the tub where waters splash, / The cat protests with eyes so brash, / ‘No more baths!’ he pleads in a flash.” But there’s something so much more deliciously bizarre about the output of these lesser models. Each poem below is presented as-is.

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Babbage

I once had a cat who hated baths.
It was so frustrating having to go to the bathroom all by myself. 
I just wanted to fry him.

—

Once upon a time, a cat hating bath ritual
Debated in the litter box for hours 
Never felt so Dirty and Rudimentary

—

Lysacanthosis catus,
 Canaryate you not in a dry bath,
But sling you a wet one right in your face!

—

The feline fellows won't go in 
It's difficult enough trying to get 
A kitty out of a critterkin'skin.

—

Once there was a cat who really didn't like baths.
He said, "I don't want to get wet, I just want to stay dry!"

But the water kept coming and coming,
And the cat just kept grunting and growling.

Finally, the Management said, "adsorb this cat, or we'll close the bath house!"

—

Kitty hates baths.

He always wakes up sweaty,
She's never felt so scruffy.

So she instead sits on the edge
Of the tub, plotting her next rebellion.

—

"I never go into a bath without first scratching my back."

"Why not?"
"Because then I get fleas."

---

Ada

Baths a cat But she
Might like to lucrative
ptic for name

—

She sleds to the sun,
and the wustlatsnius presiding over them all.
He appears in record time,
he loves to CLAIRE!

—

She walks up to the ateliers
And says "I want to make my own clothes"
The atelier owner says " arrang compounds do not lie
And she must put it back in their bag
But she just keeps on going and going
And eventually she gets the clothes she wants
But cat houses do not lie and so she has to go

—

Why did the cat hate baths?
Because he hs always getting in a hurry
And making it difficult for the dog
He even tries toK Internet despite being resisting
 unfairly CAT hater

Image generated by Dall-E, naturally